People suck

I find social media 15% useful and 85% annoying.
I think this is mainly due to the fact that a lot of people piss me off with their blatant stupidity.
Is your dinner really that interesting in the scheme of your life that you need to share a picture of it?Will you also post one showing what it looks like on re entry to the world?
Do you really think everyone needs to see you in your underwear, or hear about your dramas with yo’ baby daddy?
Does it make you feel good to get up to level 50 on candy crush?
And do you get your jollies airing your dirty laundry or having a public fight with thousands of voiyers sitting on the couch with their coke and popcorn?
Here’s a few points to think about before you hit ‘Post’ next time:
-Everyone eats. We have been doing it since the dawn of time and will continue to do so regardless of whether you feel the need to show everyone. Good on you for continuing the process.
-Unless your Miranda Kerr and earn millions of dollars walking around in your underwear, the other graduates of your year 12 class (and the general population) do not need to see your arse in their news feed because you need superficial positive comments about how your a ‘Sexy Mummy!’
Or your ‘lookin good ;)’
-No one needs to know if your ex beat you or abused your children, that is a private matter and when your children grow up they won’t appreciate that you have informed the world of said private matters on Facebook and Twitter.
-Instead of sitting on your phone playing pointless games,put down your phone, Ipad or Tablet and PLAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN. If you don’t have kids- get a Job or a social hobby where you interact with real people.Talk to your family. ANYTHING.
But when your 90yrs old and sitting in a nursing home wouldn’t you rather remember spending quality time with loved ones instead of beating a silly game?
-Don’t pick fights on social media that you wouldn’t be willing to have in person and don’t invite the masses to get involved in attacking someone or their point of view, whether it be right or wrong.
Unless your an arsehole. Then, please spend your time in a more productive fashion;for example working out how you can get a lobotomy or a permanent form of birth control so the rest of us don’t have to put up with your crap infecting the gene pool in future generations.
Rant over. Have a good day peeps!

What did you say??

Don’t you love it when kids muck up words,  ya know like hospital / hostable? Mr El still asks ‘can you do this plopery mum?’
My favorites tho are the ones that make you stop and go ‘wait, what was that?’
Like ‘I wanna shit! ‘ pardon?  Points to the chair, ‘ I Wanna Shit!’ 
Or this recent convo with Mr E…
Mr E: look mum I’m drawing
Me: oh very nice, what is it ?
Mr E: it’s crap.
Me: it’s what!?
Mr E: crap. See all its legs and claw arms?
Me: ooohhhh a crab!
Mr E: yep! Crap!

And then there’s just the funny stuff they say sometimes that would get them in trouble if they weren’t so young and innocent…
Mr K “mum why do you have hairy legs?”
“Because it’s winter and I don’t mind looking like a wooly mammoth.”
Mr E: “what’s a wooly mammoth?”
Mr K: ” it’s a big furry elephant but it’s okay they have been dead for a long time, like 29 years.”
Mr E: “I don’t want you to die mum!”

And lastly, the things you say without thinking about if they will take it literally or not ..
Mr K: mum what are we having for dinner?
Me: K it’s 8 am, God only knows what we’re having.
Mr K: why does God know? Does he help you cook?

From the mouths of babes….

Don’t you love how kids can be so brutally honest? I think it’s fantastic that little ones don’t have a social filter and will say whatever comes to mind…well, at least 95% of the time I do.
The other 5% of the time I could easily do without it, and it seems there is some weird parental law that says this 5% of the time will occur in public.
Mr E (aged 3) for example, leaves his social filter in the house almost every time we go out. I never know what to expect with this one, and if we can make it through an outing without unintentionally insulting someone, it’s been a good day.
My favourite comments include “mummy that lady has big boobies like you” or when he saw an overweight person buying chocolate “I don’t think they need that, they fat” or when he sees other kids misbehaving, points to their parent and says “they should be watching them mum.”
Mr K (aged 5) has thankfully mostly grown out of this, and can keep some of his thoughts to himself, but we still get the odd doozie like when we passed a man smoking outside a cafe and he pointed at him and said ” mum that man is being naughty and is going to get sick and die.” Then when asked why replied with “because I saw it on the ads on TV.”

But on the positive side they do say some wonderful things to balance out the bad. Like when Mr E tells me first thing in the morning “you beautiful mummy” or of course, the funny comments like when Mr K was asked if he wanted a sister or a brother to which he replied “we have to have a sister so mum can paint her nails, coz dad doesn’t like it when she paints Mr E’s” and the ones that come out of nowhere like Mr K asking “mum, when are nanna and grandad going to die?”
Me:” I have no idea buddy, why’s that?”
Mr K:” I just wanted to know so I knew what I’d be doing that day.”

Honestly though, even with all the embarrassing things they can say, I’d never have them any other way because the one certainty is that they will always make me laugh and I love that.
With that in mind I think I’ll finish with a recent comment from Mr K as we were walking to childcare (but first to put it in perspective let me remind you I am 8.5 months pregnant)
Mr K was walking along behind me and very innocently asked “mum, why are you walking like that?”
Me:” like what bud?”
Mr K:” like a duck…a very slow duck…”
Yep, gotta love kids! 🙂